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Never in my Scotch soaked wildest dreams I imagined that I would write another post about Bangkok within one day of the last. But here I am. The last half day was such diametrically opposite and comic compared to the perfect and smooth day before, that a blog was due. So here it goes.

League of extraordinary Indians

It started as usual with a great modern philosophic quote, as all modern philosophic quotes, which I generally find on Twitter, by a man. Or was it a woman? Anyway, the wise soul opined, that there are two types of Indians, one who pose with Starbucks cups abroad, to show they are having a nice time, and those who don’t go abroad, and naturally don’t get the opportunity. Thrilled, influenced and highly motivated I found a Starbucks shop in Bangkok duty free, and was ready for the defining moment of my life. After fifteen minutes and a few seconds of failed and tiring order, I was not able to make the equally frustrated and steadily temper raising Thai coffee counter girl understand that I want my coffee pitch black without any milk. All she gathered was that I want a Cappuccino with less milk, so she wanted me to have a Cafe latte instead, which is technically the same. Ofcourse she must have had the best intention for her customers, but it was frustrating for me. However a booming British voice, told me that I should order the Cafe Americano, which is basically black coffee in a fancy name. Gotta love ’em Brits, especially those who help a troubled fellow passenger in his communication gap with good assiduous Thai coffee counter babes. He also informed me that he apparently took four weeks to find that out.

After that, I went  to the next store to get  bottle of mineral water which cost me a freaking 40 Baht. When I gave a 100 Baht I got three 20 Baht notes, one of which was damaged. The ensuing conversation went like this.

– Can you change this 20 note? – How much change you wan? – No, not change, change, as in change this note? – How much change? – Change! Alter this note! – *blank face* – Give me another 20! – Bottle 40, you get 60! – *sigh* – *sigh back* etc.

In the mean time, a small crowd gathered around me, to see the comedy, with three Thai Airport security coming towards me with a lynch mob look in their face. Apparently they tho’t I am some kind of habitual who is harassing the counter chickas. ” YeSer, whaduyuwan? ”

I left with the damaged 20.

So, here’s the catch. Why do the brilliant behaved, sweet, lissome Thai girls change? Because they are systemed like robots. Heloser, hi, one bottle, 40 bahts, tankyuplizcomagain. Matter ends. You drop in one line out of the systemed conversation, they get all nervy, and the whole hard disk crashes.

Resident Auckville 1

Anyway, I finally reached Auckland, after the 13 hour borathon of a flight from Bangkok, with my biological clock almost ruined, and found out to my surprise that it is probably the only city in the World where Shopping malls stay close in Saturdays and Sundays, due to some high concept of the government that mall workers need to spend time with their families too. Had my friend not been there, I would have mistaken the road to a zombie apocalypse type movie set. Beautiful roads, huge glittery malls at night, with all the lights on, but not a single living creature around. Tad haunting, to be honest. Also, the immigration check while entering is another funny story, but that’s another blog post. More to come soon…

Resident Auckville 2

Kia Ora, people!